It's funny, I started February off with a whole different perspective on things and now it's over. It's just flown past and I hate to admit it but I did have hopes or hope for something.

“It is easy, when you are young, to believe that what you desire is no less than what you deserve, to assume that if you want something badly enough, it is your right to have it.”
— Jon Krakauer

You're not strong enough to face the truth and I get that...but you can't run away from yourself forever. I hope you let the next person who sees through you to stick around a little longer.

The past few days have shown me that I don't fit in.

I don't think some things can really ever disappear as much as we push them away or try to hide from them. I mean I know one hundred percent that time is a massive helper and healer but sometimes it does not necessarily cement in all the cracks. Sometimes I remember things, I mean really really remember them and there aren't any words out there to describe the loss that I feel when the gates have been pushed wide open.

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

The rising tide will not let you forget me

I like my oxford comma

No more wasting time on objects that don't matter, situations that don't matter, people that don't matter, or thoughts that don't matter.
If you're unhappy about something then stop feeding into it.

It's so nice just knowing that there are others out there who share the same views and values as yourself, hell it's more than nice. It's fucking comforting.

You don't have to take your clothes off to be beautiful.

Hey unloving. I will love you.

Today at work I met a wonderful person. On the outside he looked like any other 'typical' guy that would probably catch my eye but as we spoke he completely proved me wrong. There was nothing 'typical' about him. He spoke so passionately to me about things, life...you know the usual subjects worth pondering over. It was beautiful to listen to and I don't think I've ever met anyone with that same excitement about living in their eyes.
To the random guy covered in artwork of angels, thank you. You made my day :)

Every day of this week has been beautiful, goes to show how powerful thoughts can be.

Beautiful.

Today was just a really nice day for no particular reason.
I woke up, drove my brother to school, came home, did some cleaning, ate some brunch, watched some TV, went to work, came home, ate some more food, went to class, painted for two hours, went to St Kilda and bought some dinner, listened to some amazing music from last September, came home, ate my dinner, washed what felt like a million dishes, had a shower and then here I am.
My day was rather ordinary but for some reason I felt extraordinary. It's almost impossible for me to sleep on nights like these but come 7:30 AM tomorrow morning, if I find myself feeling sleep deprived I will want to shoot myself for staying up until 3AM for no particular reason.

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it."

I feel like doing something wonderful. I'm never going to sleep tonight ahh.

I miss listening to these uplifting songs on repeat :)

I adore my sisters :)

I'm going to start a revolution and be happy and thankful about any unfortunate circumstances in my life because really, they continue to mold and fuel my existence so why shouldn't I appreciate them.

:)

This is going to happen!

If there ever were a day in my life that I would describe as perfect then today would have to be it :) I am going to go to bed with the biggest smile on my face.

And you recognize the importance of "creating" and "contributing" rather than "obtaining" and "accumulating."

It's disappointing to know that some people simply do just have an ugly heart. I guess when you want to believe that there is some good in everyone you kind of project your ideals onto them but it is really too much to ask for some sense of decency in people?

I like

taking out the trash.

I feel like something is missing.

So right now I'm parked to the side of a highway, stuck in my car until the storming rain decides to pass. It got to the point where I couldn't even see the road so I decided to pull over. It's actually pretty peaceful sitting here alone and being relatively far from home. I don't even feel like necessarily going home right now anyway it's too empty there these days. When I was driving I thought about how easy it was for my car to just disappear off the road and no one would even know. Even now, I don't know where I am and I don't like this lightening. It seems to have calmed down a bit though. It freaks me out how everything could just be over in a split second and this whole week I've been in some weird mood because of something that in hindsight does not even matter in the broader spectrum of things. The only thing that really matters to me right now is getting home safe, the rest of my worries, well I might put them in a jar and throw them out to sea so they will never make their way back to me.

This is a photo of my legs over five hours ago...they are now twice as red. My whole body feels like a heater.
Never again will I neglect sunscreen!!

I'm always too awake to sleep, 5 hours of sleep it is!

Sometimes I feel like I am living in the wrong world.

I think I'll go to Boston

Midday walks

I really really really want a boat.

One day

I'm going to find a safe cliff to fucking jump off.
Who's with me?

October

Lonely nights wrapped in private paper
are as tormenting as
stubborn moments filled with doubt

:)

This week or last week
I don't really care about it anymore

I think my level of contentment has risen because tonight has panned out to be one of the most boring nights I've had in a very long time...
I have no idea if this is a good or bad thing.

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them."

"Speaking as a completely objective third party observer with absolutely no personal interest in the matter..."