Fuck settling, why should I have to if I don't want to?

I don't care what everyone else is doing. I don't care if I'm different, I know I'm not the only one.

And your heart, is a stone
Buried underneath your pretty clothes

"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward."
— E.E. Cummings

A couple of snaps

Outside the circus :)


Comfort indeed

Amazing

This message just got delivered to my email inbox, what a completely relevant statement.

If someone isn't ready to change, if they're not committed to the process 100% then nothing you nor I can do will make an ounce of difference.

“I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own.”

Sometimes I feel like I don't even want to try and get to know people because they will only disappoint me in the end and I guess maybe that's why I keep to myself at times... well a lot of the time but I love it when I'm proven wrong. I love when someone shocks me in a good way, when they really make me have hope in others because of their decency. It's very rare but it's the only thing that keeps me from constantly feeling depressed about people. For every person that brings me down, there are always five others waiting around the corner to lift me up.

So beautiful

Thanks Armarin :)

So so so so so much fun!!
You should try it.

I want to meet someone who shares my love for British music, just putting it out there :)

Damon Salvatore...

Currently

I actually feel disgusted when I think of you. People like you have always and will always make me sick.
I don't fucking understand why people choose to be crappy people when they have so much potential and so much ahead of them? I think about others lying in hospital beds with a jungle of cords connected to their bodies wishing and only being able to imagine what it would be like to have that much freedom and to have so many opportunities lying ahead of them. Instead they are stuck living off of these machines that are counting their soon to be last breaths and I really can't get it through my head that people are out there just wasting their lives on nothing and being nothing. What the fuck is wrong with some people in this place?
Stop measuring your lives in quantity and how much you can obtain and start measuring your lives in quality and what you can achieve.

I heard this song live one and a half weeks ago and it was so beautiful.
There's always a certain satisfaction or comfort in his misery.

“I've changed. You can't help it. Your mind starts working in a different way. You feel really scrutinised by people.”

I know who I am.
I know what I want.
I know how I should be treated and I most definitely know how I should NOT be treated.
No settling for any less, regardless of anything.

With great pride comes great self respect.
If you don't respect yourself how can you expect anyone else to?

Lets share another surf board and swim out into the ocean like we did when we were kids. I always felt safest when I was with you even though half the time you nearly got us killed...okay maybe I'm over exaggerating just a bit. I just can't wait to see you, a lifetime is much too long for me. At least I know you're happy. With that thought circling the back of my mind I am one happy girl. If I could have five minutes with anyone in the world it would be you, and not because you're not here anymore.

For once my nostalgia is lifting me up into the sky instead of bringing me down. I am so happy :)

A year ago today was one of the hardest days of my life, if not the hardest.
I think back to it now and I still can't allow myself to really, truly think back to its existence. What I do know is that compared to this day, nothing fucking remotely trivial or superficial matters. I simply could not care less about pointless situations or pointless people. When you compare death or the unjust sufferings of innocent people to other things or situations that you think might possibly warrant you to feel a certain kind of unhappiness, all the relevance and emphasis of these situations is stripped away from you. Your importances will never look the same to you again and if you marry that concept to so many of your life happenings, then I think that you'll be able to see everything for what it really is.

So this is what it feels like :)

This was written on the toilet wall at my favourite Melbourne venue and I thought it was beautiful so I took a photo of it.

It's not me it's you

Man I used to be so naive, so endlessly loving without the slightest of boundaries even if I were the one falling down and being stepped on in the process. Even with really close friends, when they did me wrong I was always in denial, sticking up for these people, making exceptions for them because of who they were and what they meant to me. But there aren't any fucking exceptions. I learnt that months and months ago.
If you treat me less than what I deserve you aren't worth my time. So many times I would have given certain people the world only for them to destroy mine in the process. When I was 17 I used to think it was because I wasn't good enough for these people. That I was somehow lacking in something or inadequate. I see now, and I have been seeing for the past few years how wrong this statement is. If you aren't treating me right then you're the one with the issues. If you lie to me, then you're the one with the insecurities. If you can't face up to the truth then you're the one who will be living a lifetime of unhappiness and I am not connected to any of you because I refuse to be associated with shitty people who continue to make shitty decisions.

Two birds one stone

:)

You are amazing.

"I am so happy and contented. I don't even think of the waste anymore, I'm just happy and contented."

I can't wait to give you the biggest hug!!

Last April was one of the best and worse months of my life, hopefully this year only half of this will stay the same :)