blazeanewtrail

Something happened last week that really opened my eyes up and forced me to kind of re-evaluate my life as it is right now at this moment.

I thought about how stupid I've been living for the past few months and how pathetic I was when I had been focusing all of my attention on all this stupid shit that clearly would not even be worth contemplating or looking back over if I were six feet under right now. It's fucking stupid. I'm so angry at how caught up I got, how I gave into all of that, all those times I let you control me.

Life feels so raw and exposed to me right now. So fresh and violent at the same time. So limited and fast. I have indeed been living mine too fast. I have been stuck in this rut for such a long time because I let myself get caught up in all this superficial shit and all these unrealistic dreams. I'm not saying people shouldn't dream big, but if your dream isn't coming true why don't you just change the direction of your path and stop focusing on how you've failed to accomplish something that was never right or meant for you to begin with.

Right now I feel like I have nothing to lose, life is this fleeting thing that could pass you by at any given moment, and that kind of liberates and separates me from all my insignificant doubts and disappointments.