This just came out of nowhere

Time is passing us by; still we can do nothing to slow it down. At the blink of an eye your life will flash right past you. You’ll close your eyes only to wake up to yourself thirty years later and you’ll ask yourself that one question that seems to sum up the entirety of your thoughts at that given moment.
‘Am I satisfied with this life that I am hopelessly bound to?’
Have you accomplished anything worth living for? Do you consider yourself a failure in life, or do you have something to show for yourself from all the time that you have spent on this godforsaken planet? Do you believe that you have been the best that you could have been? It’s really not hard to judge; you should know yourself by now after all these years. All those nights that you thought would never end that you spent unaccompanied in that same outdated apartment with nothing but a TV to talk to and a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels to hold you close. Are you a person people look up to, or is your name all that is known to the world?
Thirty years later do you feel like an old fucking bag when you look in the mirror, maybe that is exactly what you have restricted yourself to. Has anything even changed? Do you still refuse to surrender yourself to a life full of love and happiness? You are still afraid to let anyone in aren't you? Does time pass ever so slowly now that you have spent your days all by your lonesome? Does the smell of your solitude follow you and taunt you everywhere you go? Maybe it’s okay, you’ve lived a long life and hey some people don’t even make it past the age of twenty and here you are seventy-nine years of age still going strong. Your legs are still walking, you’ve proven many times before that you can stand on your own two feet each time you’ve ventured to the local liquor store, and even that heart of yours is still pumping. It may be pumping with the venom you relentlessly fill yourself up with but every single beat counts right? You should be proud. You’re alive, healthy and can still handle your alcohol. You deserve a pat on the back for that grand fucking life of yours. The same feelings continue to arise with each newspaper that is thrown onto your front lawn. You are a complete disappointment and you know it. Years will pass and you know that you won’t be able to put up with that so-called life of yours any longer.
You need love, you need a family but it’s too late. You take one more familiar sip out of that fresh whiskey bottle and drown yourself with delusions of the life that you never lived. Your regrets have caught up with you and there is no one to turn to now. I wonder what they would even write about you on your tombstone? ‘Here lay, the body of a lonely old lady that never gave anyone the chance to love her’. That sounds just about right to me.