Denial

When you're in denial, nothing that interferes or that can potentially interfere with your beliefs can phase you. You know that at the back of your mind you aren't believing the lie you continue to tell yourself every single morning but you refuse to turn those thoughts of yours into words because you know that the moment you say 'hey maybe I'm just kidding myself' is the moment where your walls come crashing down. Maybe you aren't strong enough to handle that disappointment, dare I say defeat. You choose to live in this facade that you have created because it is much more easier and appealing than the reality you have left behind. When you're in denial and you finally wake up from it, it hurts. Oh of course it hurts, reality has come so suddenly bearing gifts. You can choose to see those gifts as something positive so that you are complacent with your true reality, or you can choose to see the negative side of things where you refuse to let go of your idealistic reality that you can't live without at that moment.