Late night thoughts

I don't know specifically what I will be doing with my life in 10 years, I might not even be alive *touch wood*. What I do know is that I want to be doing something worthwhile and something that actually has meaning to it. I want to help, motivate or change people somehow, and I really think that one day after all this learning is done that I'll be at a stage in my life where I can do that. I want to wake up each day believing that I'm the best version of myself and that those who have passed would be proud of who I've become. Every single day I think of them, one person specifically, and that inspires me to live. You don't know when your time is up here and death itself isn't what scares me, it's just the thought of not achieving that I can't stand. I don't want to look back and think that I've wasted all these years. That's why this year I told myself I'd 'live in the moment' or whatever. I have experienced so much more with that thought at the back of my head but there's still been times where I haven't made the most of my opportunities. I guess we just need some time to be normal, neutral even. You can't really be inspired 24/7, after all without suffering and despair how can inspiration even exist? I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make an impact on people one way or another and if that doesn't work, at least I'll die trying to make a change.