Life is but a dream for the dead

My whole life I have felt like I have never fit in. Time has passed, life has moved and I am left feeling the same. When I was younger I remember feeling full of so much life, I never knew that the beaming light inside me would turn into the sun that would light my sky each day. Along with that sun came clouds and by the time I hit my mid-teens life didn’t agree with me, or maybe it was the other way round. I felt more alone than ever before and things continued that way for a few years until I lost a dear friend of mine. His death showed me how fleeting life was and forced me to find a new horizon. I simply couldn’t comprehend the pain I felt at that stage and at that moment I knew I had found something to hold onto. Hope. I felt hope fly through me and not long after that there wasn’t a cloud in sight.

The next few years were a kind of rebirth so to speak. I emerged and began to pave my path forever searching for something more, forever longing to feel love and to be loved. I wasn’t lacking any love, I simply had so much love inside me and I had no idea how to use it. People came but they always went, I thank them for what they taught me. They never chose to stay and for some reason I blamed myself. I couldn’t understand they kept leaving.

Life was great, I lived, I partied, met people…like I said life was great. I felt alone, I never felt like I fit in, something was missing. I didn’t want great from life. I wanted extraordinary. I wanted heart stopping moments of inspiration tangled between love and determination. I was missing the one thing that features in all amazing tales, passion. It was when I wasn’t expecting it that I met someone. I had no idea this someone would change my life for the better or inspire me to finally stand up for myself and start living the life I’ve always wanted to.

For some reason I was living in fear and that fear became non-existent. For the first time I felt like I had truly stumbled across something miraculous. I feel like people come into our lives to shake us up and point us in the right direction. If you fail to read life’s signs you’ll be stuck in the same rut without ever moving from where you stand. I definitely needed a new direction that’s for sure. Since then I have made it my mission to figure out what life has to offer me and what I have to give to the world. I want to know more. I want to give so much love out there into the world because I know I was put on this earth to make a difference in many ways.

The power of positivity is around me each day and it works wonders. Rhonda Byrnes has taught me how to attract my heart’s desires and to bring them into my life with a single thought. The law of attraction has brought me so many amazing moments. Eckhart Tolle has taught me to disconnect myself from my mind, my ego...something I am still trying to master. Although I still feel like I don’t fit in with this world and I feel like I am shunned because I feel so different, it doesn’t bother me. I feel empowered. I remember once upon a time I told an amazing person that ‘you aren’t here to make friends; you’re here to make a difference’. People will always find a reason to judge you and as long as you feel you are doing the right thing by yourself, by staying true to who you are then nothing else should matter. I would give my life to stick up for something I truly believe in. I am so passionate about anything and EVERYTHING. I don’t care if that makes me weird or too excitable. Of course I’m excited, I’m fucking alive!!

I am grateful for each moment I have on this earth and feel that life is so precious. Just like my friend who went on to the next world, life is forever fleeting but also forever beautiful.

We choose what we want to focus our energy on and what we want to fill our lives up with, that’s the bottom line. If you focus on shit and feel awful each day that's what you'll get in return but if you feel amazing and focus on love each day - that's something else.